Couples Counseling in Madison, WI
Our Couples Therapy Philosophy
We recognize that all individuals have an innate desire to feel heard, to feel seen. This is particularly true in our relationships with our partners and loved ones. Challenges can arise prior to marriage, at the beginning of marriage, during unexpected life stressors such as illnesses, losses or fertility issues, during or after pregnancy, while raising children or adolescents, or during a separation or a divorce. Our support can assist all parties in sharing with and hearing one another to achieve mutual goals.
How We Support Couples in Therapy
Unresolved conflict is damaging to marriages and relationships. Painful feelings are buried then resentment builds, eventually shame, anger, and fear become the primary modes of relating. It can leave both individuals feeling lonely and unappreciated. But conflict is scary; many of us associate conflict with emotional disconnection. We offer healthy conflict resolution skills with a basic structure that promotes connection through vulnerability rather than anger and shame. We offer in-session support to decrease the fear associated with resolving both minor and more significant conflicts. We foster the emotional connection while acknowledging differences. After couples learn and practice conflict resolution, the process of rupture and repair leads to increased trust, accountability, and intimacy in the relationship.
Is It Too Early in Our Relationship for Couples Counseling?
Many people believe the myth that going to couples counseling is a sign of an unhappy, unhealthy relationship. We have found that avoiding couples counseling early on in a relationship is more likely to lead to a higher frequency and intensity of conflict in a relationship. It can be much harder to find resolution if you have built up resentments and little trust with each other. Attending couples counseling early in a relationship can be protective. You learn to build a foundation based on shared values that you can rely on during stressful times. You learn to recognize ineffective communication patterns and how to gradually implement new skills to build trust and safety. Its never too early to start. It’s a sign of your dedication to your partner and the life you’re building together.
Is it too Late for Couples Counseling to Work?
What’s important is that all partners are committed to putting in effort to share and listen. We can assist in identifying the most important aspects of the relationship to focus on so that minor conflicts don’t overwhelm you and erode your progress. This will allow you to make significant changes in the areas of your relationship that cause the most discord, helping you to build confidence and connection together.
Inclusivity
We work with all relationships: LGBTQIA+, GNC, monogamous, and polyamory/nonmonogamous relationships. We recognize you as the experts of yourselves, your relationship, and the relationship you want. We also do not expect you to educate us. Our goal is to offer support and guidance from a safe, supportive, non-judgmental, sex positive perspective.
Modalities
Gottman Method
Emotion-Focused Therapy
Pragmatic/Experiential Therapy for Couples