Emotional Sensitivity Counseling in Madison, WI
Emotional Sensitivity describes feeling emotions deeply, feeling them often, and taking a long time to “reset.” Traits include:
feeling increased stress when rushed or having many tasks to complete
preferring quiet environments to loud ones and not appreciating sudden, loud noises
feeling moved by the arts, especially music
avoiding violent images
experiencing performance anxiety
feeling a strong degree of empathy for other beings to the point where they take on others’ emotions
Various terms describe emotionally sensitive people including empaths, Highly Sensitive Persons (HSP), aware and honest persons. We use the term “emotional sensitive,” as we feel it allows more individuals to find help. Generally, we prefer the terms empath or aware and honest person. We do not advocate using the term sensitive to dismiss or demean a person or their experiences.
If you feel as if others don’t truly see you, and you’re tired of being judged or you’re losing your sense of self in others, please contact us. We can help you navigate and heal. The sense of freedom, home, and wholeness you want is possible!
Am I an Emotionally Sensitive Person?
You feel emotions deeply.
When you feel hurt, it feels overwhelming and difficult to see that there is anything other than pain. It may feel endless. When you feel love, you feel a profound sense of connection. There is a deep feeling of gratitude and an understanding of something greater than yourself; it can be magical. The emotions you feel are not just thoughts in your head, but a very real experience that you feel in your body. Emotionally sensitive people feel things intensely that others may have little awareness of.
Intense emotions may arise more often that you like.
It can feel a bit like a rollercoaster. One moment you’re feeling happy and content and the next you’re disappointed and in a funk. It often leads to hurtful experiences as well. Hearing comments such as, “calm down,” “you’re too much,” “you’re so dramatic,” lead you to feeling as though there’s something inherently wrong with who and how you are. It’s difficult to be misunderstood by your loved ones. Emotionally sensitive people feel intense emotions more frequently than the average person.
Emotions take a long time to reset for you.
Have you ever resolved a conflict with a partner and wanted to ‘let it go,’ but you physically couldn’t? I’m talking about the times when the person is accountable for their actions, offers a sincere apology, and you genuinely want to forgive and move on, but don’t know how. Or maybe you’ve had a close call while driving or other scary experience and you can feel the fear in your body for a long time afterwards? You know you’re safe and okay, but you feel on edge for hours afterwards and can’t shake the feeling. Emotionally sensitive people’s emotions take a longer time to reset to baseline.
Being emotionally sensitive can be an unfair experience.
How long do you think the average emotion lasts? 20 minutes? Half a day? A week? If you don’t do anything to push away or encourage the emotion, the average emotion takes only 90 seconds to pass. Imagine being the average person. You feel an emotion at a 5 out of 10; it spikes at first and slowly dissipates over 90 seconds. That’s it; it’s resolved and you can move on. As a emotionally sensitive person, the emotion spikes as well, but maybe at an 8 out of 10, already a more intense experience requiring more energy from your mind and body. Then, it lasts longer for you. What dissipates over 90 seconds for the average person may take 20 minutes or longer for you. And because you feel intense emotions more frequently, you may finally feel the emotion subsiding after 20 minutes when you get activated by another experience. The average person can ‘let it go’ because they are better equipped to do so. The emotionally sensitive person can get hijacked by their emotions, never fully able to resolve or rest. Sound exhausting? If you’re emotionally sensitive, you know it is.
Being emotionally sensitive can be a lonely experience.
You often get the impression that others do not experience emotions the same way that you do. You may be judged or criticized for things you feel you have no control over. You’re looking for understanding, but are confronted with judgmental comments that minimize and dismiss how you feel. You know the ones: “I forgot how sensitive you are,” “I don’t know why you have to make such a big deal of this,” “It feels like you’re trying to manipulate me,” “Other people have it much worse, you should be grateful,” “Think positively!”
Maybe you have supportive family and friends and this doesn’t apply to you. Even then, emotionally sensitive people are intuitive. They pick up on others’ emotions and can feel judgment by facial expressions, body language, or tone of voice that may go unnoticed by the average person. Plus, when you are emotionally sensitive, it is difficult not to compare yourself to others.
Some people can listen to the news or watch horror movies with no issues. Emotionally sensitive people may avoid the news and may not enjoy watching things that are too upsetting. Comparing yourself to others leads to self-judgment, believing there is something wrong with how you are in the world, “everyone else can do this, what’s wrong with me that I can’t?” This can be a tremendously isolating feeling.
Why your Sensitivity is your Super Power!
Connection to your emotions is the foundation to trusting yourself above all others.
The greater capacity you have to feel sadness, the greater capacity you have to feel joy. The greater capacity you have to feel loneliness, the greater capacity you have to feel true connection. Your emotional capacity lends itself to a deep self-trust. If you are a emotionally sensitive person, you know what it’s like not to have this self-trust. You know what it is like to believe that someone else’s interpretation of an event is the truth and that you and your feelings are wrong. You know how it feels to doubt yourself and wonder if you’re crazy.
When you are emotionally sensitive, attuned to your emotions, and able to feel them fully as nature intended, you begin to trust yourself before all others. You can recognize other’s responses as a reflection of their relationship with themselves and their emotions, not a reflection of you. You trust that your feelings make sense and that there is reason behind them. You no longer have to defend, explain, or justify your emotions. You trust them. You trust yourself. It is the feeling of freedom. Your sensitivity is the key to self-trust.
Connection to your emotions is the foundation to connection with others.
Have you ever grieved? The type of grief where when people “comfort” you, they have a difficult time maintaining eye contact because they are so uncomfortable with the depth of your grief. You can feel their discomfort which can make you feel like a burden when all you want is someone to sit with you in your sadness. When you have a healthy relationship with your sensitivity, you can sit with emotions more comfortably than the average person. The deeper you allow yourself to feel your sadness, the deeper you can tolerate someone else’s sadness. You can connect with them at a much more meaningful level.
You also enjoy that connection more. Many people self-sabotage when they are happy. They are having a good time, have the thought, “I’m really enjoying myself,” and immediately become fearful that it won’t last forever and could be taken away at any moment. In order to tolerate the uncertainty of when that happiness will end, they say or do something that abruptly ends the connection and their happiness. When you are comfortable with the heights of your joy, love, and connection; you trust it to run its course naturally. You can enjoy your happiness without fear. You can enjoy connection without ruining it. Your sensitivity is the key to connection.
Connection to your emotions is the foundation to your creativity.
Do you remember the assignments in school when the teacher gave you free rein to create what you want, write what you like with very few parameters? For many people, this was intimidating. It’s difficult to create from blank space with no direction. How do you just create inspiration? Emotionally sensitive people are highly creative and inspired people! When they have grown their capacity to feel the spectrum of their emotions, they have endless sources of inspiration to translate their experiences to the page, canvas, or project. They can take complex experiences and illustrate them in a way that is unique and meaningful. Your sensitivity is the key to your creativity.
Sensitivity is the foundation to your passion.
As humans, we all search for meaning in life. Too often we find ourselves wandering aimlessly or blindly following a pre-determined path set out by our families or societal expectations. We find ourselves bored, unenthusiastic about life, and confused. Emotionally sensitive people who heal their relationship with their sensitivity have a stronger connection with their passions than the average person. They find work and hobbies that resonate with them and fulfill them. Whether it’s a career, a relationship, parenthood, volunteering, or a number of things; emotionally sensitive people are adept at finding a sense of purpose in their lives. Your sensitivity is the key to your passion.
Sensitivity is the foundation to your intuition.
Emotionally sensitive people are naturally intuitive. If you have been described as an old soul or an empath, this is you. You pick up on subtle details. You read the energy in a room the instant you walk in. You can tell if a couple is having a quiet conflict three tables away from you at a restaurant. You recognize when someone is lying when they saying everything is okay. Without your sensitivity, this would be impossible. The issue that arises is that we are taught not to trust our emotions, our sensitivity, and thus our intuition. By healing our relationship with our sensitivity, we can hone our intuition. It helps us to recognize red flags, avoid unhealthy relationships, and dangerous situations. It helps us discover our limits. It helps to guide us on our path and make the decisions that are right for us. It helps us to develop our passions and find the family of our own making. It helps us discover our values. Your intuition is invaluable. Your sensitivity is the key to your intuition.
Healing your relationship with your sensitivity will build your foundation to connection with self and others, creativity, passion, meaning, and intuition. You will have a consistent sense of self, with values that you live and love, and limits you feel confident in. You can have the wholeness, agency, and peace you deserve.
Contact Our Madison Therapy Team
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